VIP in Vegas

Wowzers.. Vegas was insane. I got to go to some of the coolest clubs and there were actually celebs there(though I didn't see them). It's not like they are there to hang out with normal peeps anyway. The only drawback to this trip was that it was over 105 degrees everyday and it never got cooler than about 90...even at night yuck. It was 123 one day.:( I have SO many pics so I'll only put up some of them.

Day 1: July 24
We stayed at Mandalay Bay:)

Later we started a little drinky drinkin..and then had dinner at House of Blues.



Larissa and Liz were just a little excited to go to the bars.


So after being drunk at dinner, we headed to TAO in the Venetian. OmGzzz.....

We found a group of 30 somethings who came up to us and said they were in Vegas for a Bachelor party. So Lars joined the mix and they showed us their best awkward moves. There were 2 bachelors with shirts that said "Pussy to Be" instead of "Groom to Be"..hilar.
Of course..being Vegas..there were stripper/dancers everywhere and all over the VIP booths. Packed dance floor of course..all in all.. this club was WAY COOLZ. Approve!

Day 2: July 25th


We had breakfast, did some swimming.. shopped at H&M:). Everyone else except me and Lars went to a faux Price is Right Show at Bally's (we weren't really feelin' a fake P.I.R that cost $49.50 a ticket. ) so we drove back to our hotel and as I tried to open the door the handle was weird and I said "I feel like someone has been in here..maybe the maids just came or something."

So I finally get the door and as I walk in Larissa get's really quiet and I turn around and she is frozen in the hall of our room. I stop and the next thing I hear is screaming and moaning of the neighbor's next door having sex.. ahahahhah oh my god we could not stop laughing. FYI the walls at Mandalay Bay are paper thin. LOL!

So we get ready, the P.I.R. show is done and we meet up at La Salsa in Caesar's Palace where they are having dinner after the show. Nicki tells me she doesn't want to go to the bars and would rather look at hotels tonight soooo.. me Liz and Larissa decide we are gunna go to JET in the Mirage because we got on the guest list by a promoter. But before we decide to take some shots.. :/ Nicki's dad orders us Patron since we need good tequila at a Mexican restaurant...

Then Liz decided to show us her best dance moves...


HAH! So then we needed drinks.. I thought I would be smart and just stay with tequila so I wouldn't get sickk... well after the next Patron shot went down.. I was dunzo.. I went to the bathroom puked twice and then was ready to go..haha. I ordered a vodka cran and we were back on the dance floor.
JET= Good times! Approve!

Day 3: July 26
Nicki and Ryan wanted to go to the pool.. but we weren't diggin that idea especially because it was overcast. Still 90 degrees or warmer..though. So the threesome went lookin at the hotels, saw the lions at MGM, watched the Bellagio water show and then met at Dick's restaurant for lunch at the Luxor.


Basically, Dick's is a restaurant where the waitors are Dicks. Everyone is a smart ass, you can talk shit to people..it's really fun. They put paper hats on people with crude phrases and big fat guys give lap dances to awkward moms or people with birthday's (see:Nicki's photo above):)
Ryan's hat said:"Taken more loads in the rear than Fed-Ex" and Larissa said: "Given more people crabs than Red Lobster. We drank margaritas and had a swell time:)

We went back and showered and went to the Comedy Stop in the Tropicana. I thought it would be lame and cheesy but I was dyyyinngggg. The comics were SO hilarious and out tickets were only $20 (thanks to nicki's dad). I'm pretty sure it is a famous little place because there were pix on the walls of people who had performed there that were on SNL and stuff. I think I saw Ellen and Rosie O'Donnell's pictures too.
Then were were off to LAX! My faveeee clubbb!!



We got invited to a VIP booth/table. It was so crazy! Then the bouncer asked us if we wanted to go to the exclusive VIP bar in a private elevator downstairs. We all said hellsss yeahh and went down. It was totally chilled out and there were just rich snobbos who sat in big chairs with cigars.. no one famous. Boo!

Day 4: July 27th

I didn't get to bed until 3:30 because of a few drunk dials from Oregon friends and the fact that my feet were throbbinggggg. NEVER.EVER.WEAR. HEELS. I swore I wouldn't do it because I never wore them the last time but for some dumbass reason I thought I could handle it. NOPE! I ended up walking home through the hotels barefoot.:(

Everyone but me and Lars left at like 6am for Eugene so we hung at her aunt and uncles after we checked out of Mandalay Bay. Shopped a bit and then I sat in the airport for 2 hours to get home.

I was pooped but hot damnnn it was a fun trip!

Hi, I'm annoying.

So as I was on the plane, I wrote down stuff I wanted to blog when I got to my comp. God, the people were RIDIC.
1. 3 annoying bitches 2 rows behind me arguing over if they got jipped on the amount of alcohol in their $5 plane cocktails and how much 1 oz really is. Dumb. I can hear all of this happening over the noise of the plane AND my iPod. How awesome.

Oh! And...the girl next to her whips out her phone as we are getting ready to take off and in about 2 decibels louder than everyone else says "I love you" and "Baby" about 18 times to her kid and her babydaddy. Natch. Meanwhile, now the 3 drunk bitches are singing "Vegas" themed songs. Slit my wrists, please.

2. The guy sitting across the aisle from me is reading a Spanish bible with his sunglasses on.

3. A little girl probs 10 yrs old. gets walked onto the plane by the flight attendant. She sits down and after a little while gets bored and pulls out her gameboy or something. Except the game she is playing is HamsterVille or something. Creepy.

4. I have to go pee. So I get up and go to the spacious lavatory that always smells like disgusting sterile soap that some douche has squirted all over the sink. I open the door and there is trash everywhere. SICK! The folded napkings are shoved in the tiny trash can and overflowing and the person before half-flushed. I almost VOM-ed. Then as I am leaving, the flight attendant that walked the hamster chick on the plane, is chowing down on a Caesar salad in the back. I want a damn salad. We didn't even get the plane peanut snack pack filled with about 9 peanuts. We got "beverage service." Woop de do.

PIX are coming later. I am hella procrastinating at work.

:)

PS- My last post was writted on my BB as I was walking through the terminal. Hella spelling mistakes. SRY.

Update

PDX is hoppin. As soon as I get off the MAX there are transit security swarming everywhere and some punk is handcuffed..and they aren't letting anyone back on. All I heard was something about you can't do that for a minor. Probs bought some kid some booze. Whatevs. Next..there is a guy in a blinged out bejeweled rhinestone Obama graphic print shirt. Way coolz.
3. A man is playing classical piano in the terminal by the restaurants while another is whistling. Weird.
4. I just spent $13 in the gift shop buying mags and trail mix. I kove traveling.
5. I got hit on buy the baggage boy.
6. Now I'm eating a Quizno's sammie and reading some goss about celeb babiez.
Onward to LAS!

Be Jealz

So I am currently on my way to PDX en route to VEGASSSSSS! I am so excited I can't even wait to purchase my first giant daiquiri at Fat Tuesday's. I am blogging from my lovely Blackberry and will try to post about my adventures in Vegas when I can. I am sitting on the MAX with my lovely large Pike's Place roast and watching all the weirdoz.

1. There is a nice lady sitting next to me except every 2 seconds..no joke..a puff of air shoots up her nose from a breathing machine so she can live. How lovely. She is also wearing a long sleeve shirt and rosy red sweater vest with embroidered jeans and white sneaks. Hot. PS it's supposed to be about 82 degrees today.
2. The other old lady on my left has Barney purple pants on and sweet painted reading glasses.

3. 2 peeps just sat down right next to me. They are talking way fast in spanish also. The chick is way prego and the guy immediately says hi as he is sitting down. He asks me how my hair is? And that it is pretty. His hair is elvis style in the front and he turns away and has a longer pony tail than me. Foul.he says Vegas is paradise...like Hawaii and that he wants to go. They just got off at parkrose. Thank god.
More updates laters. PDX is comin up!:)

For all those bitches in the J school...

I always hated when girls in my journalism classes would raise their hand and brag that they had "clips" from projects and assignments they had worked on for actual clients or whatever. See InfoHellBraggyIhavemyprojectdone2daysearlybitch. F you. I now have actual client work to show in my portfolio. hooray! I will post some of them when I figure out how to do it on blogger.

Here's what I say to those J-whores:

V-V-V-Vegasssssss!

I AM GOING TO BE IN VEGAS IN EXACTLY ONE WEEK FROM RIGHT NOW. WOOOT!

Plus, Nicki's rad dad paid for our hotel at Mandalay Bay. HOLLLLLAAAA!

If you would like to contact me:
Mandalay Bay c/o JORDZ
SIN CITY,NV

I just wish NATEZ could come with.

THX Nate

Check my sweet new header! THX to Natez for the helpz.

Intern 101

Hello friends-

I am currently sitting at my cluttered desk on my first day as a design intern at NW Documentary Arts & Media! Hooray! It's been a pretty good day. There are only 3 of us so that is weird compared to the normal chaos of the salon but since I am the intern/bitch I get to do pretty much whatever the hell I want.:) My boss even told me I can come and go as I please like to get coffee or whatever. Holla! Today my task was to come up with a set of roughs for t-shirt designs for their company. I worked for a few hours and came up with 4 or 5 ideas and showed my bosses. They loved them and were like ," See.. this is why we have a designer! I would have scribbled some sketches on a napkin." They called me a designer! I was a little excited:)


Also I re-named my blog "Fresh Squeezed."
Deal with it.


Later lovahs!