Yes, I watch the Hills.
Howevs, I am NOT a fan of Heidi. I think she is lame... and just likes to be an attention/paparazzi whore with her billygoat beard boyfriend, Spencer. She also thinks that she is a pop star, fashion designer, and anythingelsethatmightmakeherfamous. Like getting fish lip implants and a boob job.
This is her next music video trying to break into the biz:
I could only stand 2 minutes. It's horrendous.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
SCAM!
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Okay. So, I am at my internship right now. One of my ongoing projects has been to design/screenprint t-shirts for the company to sell to raise money for the youth education program. I have researched on the web for a bunch of places trying to find the best deal and I found this site called BlankApparel.com.
We also had a thought to ask American Apparel if they would donate but I thought it would be a longshot and I would have to talk to corporate.
I walked from my office on 1st and Ash to American Apparel on 12th and Stark to talk to the peeps and just like I thought, all I got was an e-mail of the guy "at corporate." Nice peeps at AA, though.
On my way back, I walked around the pretty Pearl District and by the Art Institute of Portland with all their fab posters and design studios and giant classrooms filled with huge Mac's for a design heaven. I got depressed.
Anyway, after my trek, I came back and my boss told me to call the BlankApparel website contact and see if they could send us a shirt so we could plan our screen printing design since the sizes on the website seemed like they would only fit giants or fattys. No offense.
So I call:
1-800-332-6576..
Immediately, a voice says, " to speak to a ( the phone cuts out) person, call 1-800-424-4400.
?.. That's weird. I'll call again.
Again, the same line and at the same place, it cuts out again. I think that maybe instead of listening to a recording, you call the 2nd number to speak to a real person. I write down the number but wait and see if a recorded menu comes on.
The number disconnects and my phone ends the call.
Lame. I'm calling the new number.
3rd call:
1-800-424-4400...
"Hey there sexy... do you want to speak to HOTTTT HORNY GIRLS?!! "
ahahahahahah! I screamed " Oh my God?!" and everyone here looked at me like I was a nutjob.
This t-shirt website is a total Scam-o! I wonder what would have happened if I would have tried to order a shirt. Maybe they'll send me a Naughty Nurse outfit or French Maid.
I just hope I didn't get ripped off for like $45/ minute because those bitches have my digits.
It reminded me of when Nate and I called a prostitute from one of our 900 call girl Vegas cards and the girl kept calling Nate "sexy" , "honey" and "baby" and kept asking us if we were back to our room in the Venetian yet. Lolz, we were sitting in my car on campus waiting for ARTD lab to start.
Oh my, whores are silly.
Okay. So, I am at my internship right now. One of my ongoing projects has been to design/screenprint t-shirts for the company to sell to raise money for the youth education program. I have researched on the web for a bunch of places trying to find the best deal and I found this site called BlankApparel.com.
We also had a thought to ask American Apparel if they would donate but I thought it would be a longshot and I would have to talk to corporate.
I walked from my office on 1st and Ash to American Apparel on 12th and Stark to talk to the peeps and just like I thought, all I got was an e-mail of the guy "at corporate." Nice peeps at AA, though.
On my way back, I walked around the pretty Pearl District and by the Art Institute of Portland with all their fab posters and design studios and giant classrooms filled with huge Mac's for a design heaven. I got depressed.
Anyway, after my trek, I came back and my boss told me to call the BlankApparel website contact and see if they could send us a shirt so we could plan our screen printing design since the sizes on the website seemed like they would only fit giants or fattys. No offense.
So I call:
1-800-332-6576..
Immediately, a voice says, " to speak to a ( the phone cuts out) person, call 1-800-424-4400.
?.. That's weird. I'll call again.
Again, the same line and at the same place, it cuts out again. I think that maybe instead of listening to a recording, you call the 2nd number to speak to a real person. I write down the number but wait and see if a recorded menu comes on.
The number disconnects and my phone ends the call.
Lame. I'm calling the new number.
3rd call:
1-800-424-4400...
"Hey there sexy... do you want to speak to HOTTTT HORNY GIRLS?!! "
ahahahahahah! I screamed " Oh my God?!" and everyone here looked at me like I was a nutjob.
This t-shirt website is a total Scam-o! I wonder what would have happened if I would have tried to order a shirt. Maybe they'll send me a Naughty Nurse outfit or French Maid.
I just hope I didn't get ripped off for like $45/ minute because those bitches have my digits.
It reminded me of when Nate and I called a prostitute from one of our 900 call girl Vegas cards and the girl kept calling Nate "sexy" , "honey" and "baby" and kept asking us if we were back to our room in the Venetian yet. Lolz, we were sitting in my car on campus waiting for ARTD lab to start.
Oh my, whores are silly.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Shoe Police
So I had a lovely weekend in Portland ,which was especially glorious on Sunday when I went to one of my fave places everrr:
As usual.. it was delightful!
Afterwards, I walked around the shopping center that has basically popped out of the sky. I don't remember all these stores being there the last time I was up here. Anywhooo, there was a DSW (designer shoe warehouse) so natch, I went in because.. duhz.. I <3 shoes. However, I don't understand the fug stuff that stores are still selling!!?
Honestly, if they pick on people for bad clothes and fashion.. why the hell do they keep selling this nasty shit!?
1.
If you recall my bad shoe post, moccasins are the frumpiest piles of poo evar.
2.
I don't know what the hell these cheese cloth skuffies are supposed to do to benefit your feet, but hey, I guess if you want polka dotted sun-tanned feet then go ahead and purchase!
3.
" Um.. yeah I need something like, super cutesy for my 7th grade winter formal "Ice Dance."
Here you go, sick ass.. Kthxbye.
4.
Enough said.
P.S- Remember when I said I saw a freak-o on the bus with a bejeweled alcohol monitoring bracelet on?
Yeah, I snapped this sweet pic and sent it to Nate:
<3
As usual.. it was delightful!
Afterwards, I walked around the shopping center that has basically popped out of the sky. I don't remember all these stores being there the last time I was up here. Anywhooo, there was a DSW (designer shoe warehouse) so natch, I went in because.. duhz.. I <3 shoes. However, I don't understand the fug stuff that stores are still selling!!?
Honestly, if they pick on people for bad clothes and fashion.. why the hell do they keep selling this nasty shit!?
1.
If you recall my bad shoe post, moccasins are the frumpiest piles of poo evar.
2.
I don't know what the hell these cheese cloth skuffies are supposed to do to benefit your feet, but hey, I guess if you want polka dotted sun-tanned feet then go ahead and purchase!
3.
" Um.. yeah I need something like, super cutesy for my 7th grade winter formal "Ice Dance."
Here you go, sick ass.. Kthxbye.
4.
Enough said.
P.S- Remember when I said I saw a freak-o on the bus with a bejeweled alcohol monitoring bracelet on?
Yeah, I snapped this sweet pic and sent it to Nate:
<3
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Part Deux
So today waiting for the bus, I got approached by a filthy, drunk homeless transient who was mesmerized by my necklace. Awesome. Luckily, there was a chain smoking foreigner who said "keep moving, ass" to the guy and saved my life. Thx to you Euro Hottie Hero.
Next, CaramelDrippyfrapgirlwhowearscrocs (see last post) came around the corner at the same time and what did she have in her hand? ... ANOTHER $4.30 2000 calorie vomit-like frappuccino!
O.M.G. I think she gets one everyday after she gets of work then walks to the bus. Oy, I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Wait.. a lot.
Again, people are foul.
Next, CaramelDrippyfrapgirlwhowearscrocs (see last post) came around the corner at the same time and what did she have in her hand? ... ANOTHER $4.30 2000 calorie vomit-like frappuccino!
O.M.G. I think she gets one everyday after she gets of work then walks to the bus. Oy, I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Wait.. a lot.
Again, people are foul.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Bus-Capades
People are foul.
Riding the bus to and from work everyday in Downtown Portland is quite the experience. I usually go to Starbucks and then walk the 3 blocks down to my building. I am amused daily by the shit that people put into their body and then complain that they are 50lbs overweight.
Example A: (2 days ago)- A short, plump mom-ish like lady orders a venti raspberry white mocha frappucino with extra whip cream and an apple fritter to go for breakfast. Delish. There are all of your calories for the day. My teeth hurt just thinking about eating that. Ick!
Example B: (About 30 mins ago)- It is really warm today so a Blended Strawberry Lemonade sounds ultra fab. Yes, there is probs a lot of sugar but I never order them so I say whatevs today. The girl in front of me made me feel 10 times better about my order after I hear hers: Venti Caramel Frappucino with extra caramel. "Like, I want it dripping down the sides and on the bottom and the whip cream." My stomach turned. Her total was $4.30! This girl , to put it politely, had extra pounds already and definitely didn't need those cals. In addition, she is wearing a bright blue tank top that looks like a picnic basket with a dirty white sports bra and navy blue crocs and is power smoking so she can finish her cigarette before she gets on the bus. Vomit Now.
Then, I get on the bus. I have seen SO many weirdos I can't even tell you but today there were a surplus. The other day I saw a woman with an alcohol monitor anklet that she had bejeweled to look cool. Hah!
I sit down and across from me are 2 people that are the most methed/cracked out/ stoned I have ever seen. Can't even barely keep their eyes open and are slurring their sentences to each other; only slightly becoming normal when the bus jerks around or stops to let people off.
Also, meth woman has a black mullet full of hair gel that it doesn't move. She has a cane and is wearing these ultra gladiator sandals that go up to her ankles and are metallic silver. It's about 5:15 pm now, and the bus is packed that they will probably have to deny people soon because we have too many. I just happen to be sitting in the "handicapped/senior" section because when I got on that was the place to sit. I would move if someone got on that needed to sit. DUH.
So, Mullet Bitch starts complaining and points at me and the other people about how we are sitting in the handicapped section and that we aren't handicapped. I think she said handicapped about 6 times. The only reason she qualified was because she had a cane. There was nothing wrong with her. She was high and her pot belly was probably making her uncomfortable Oh, sorry I didn't know I had to move out of the section for lazy tweakers.
Her friend, meth man, is worse than her. His shirt is only buttoned in the very middle and he is trying to keep his head from bobbing with the movement of the bus. He is also carrying plastic bags filled with cotton balls and gatorade.
Next to them, is a woman in a pink gym outfit. When I look at what she is doing, she has a giant smile on her face because she just found a chocolate bar at the bottom of her purse. It is all melted and squished, but of course, she shoves it all in her mouth. Then about 10 seconds later, she pulls out a " Calorie, Carbs and Fat" book. Hmm.. closet binge eater?
Next to me, is a skinny punk boy who looks scared to death. I want to talk to him, but he just pulled out his phone to text. oh well.
On the other side of me is a woman reading a book. She has been completely silent the whole time but this time when I look down, I see her 2 inch long thumb nail holding the page open for her to read. Eek! Right along her cuticle is a giant bruise. Lovely. Maybe she was trying to snort some coke and her pimp beat her fingers... Probably not.. she just turned around and is a 60 year old Asian woman.
To my left is ANOTHER man with a mullet..good god..and this time he thinks he is THE MAN. It is brassy blonde and again, full of gel to keep it to perfection, and is rocking to his iPod in a flourescent button up shirt covered in marlin fish. Hotttt... At this same time, the bus comes to a stop and a girl gets up that I didn't even know was on the bus.. she is probably my age.. maybe a year younger and she is carrying a tiger stuffed animal under her arm.
What the hell are people thinking when they wake up in the morning, honestly?
Riding the bus to and from work everyday in Downtown Portland is quite the experience. I usually go to Starbucks and then walk the 3 blocks down to my building. I am amused daily by the shit that people put into their body and then complain that they are 50lbs overweight.
Example A: (2 days ago)- A short, plump mom-ish like lady orders a venti raspberry white mocha frappucino with extra whip cream and an apple fritter to go for breakfast. Delish. There are all of your calories for the day. My teeth hurt just thinking about eating that. Ick!
Example B: (About 30 mins ago)- It is really warm today so a Blended Strawberry Lemonade sounds ultra fab. Yes, there is probs a lot of sugar but I never order them so I say whatevs today. The girl in front of me made me feel 10 times better about my order after I hear hers: Venti Caramel Frappucino with extra caramel. "Like, I want it dripping down the sides and on the bottom and the whip cream." My stomach turned. Her total was $4.30! This girl , to put it politely, had extra pounds already and definitely didn't need those cals. In addition, she is wearing a bright blue tank top that looks like a picnic basket with a dirty white sports bra and navy blue crocs and is power smoking so she can finish her cigarette before she gets on the bus. Vomit Now.
Then, I get on the bus. I have seen SO many weirdos I can't even tell you but today there were a surplus. The other day I saw a woman with an alcohol monitor anklet that she had bejeweled to look cool. Hah!
I sit down and across from me are 2 people that are the most methed/cracked out/ stoned I have ever seen. Can't even barely keep their eyes open and are slurring their sentences to each other; only slightly becoming normal when the bus jerks around or stops to let people off.
Also, meth woman has a black mullet full of hair gel that it doesn't move. She has a cane and is wearing these ultra gladiator sandals that go up to her ankles and are metallic silver. It's about 5:15 pm now, and the bus is packed that they will probably have to deny people soon because we have too many. I just happen to be sitting in the "handicapped/senior" section because when I got on that was the place to sit. I would move if someone got on that needed to sit. DUH.
So, Mullet Bitch starts complaining and points at me and the other people about how we are sitting in the handicapped section and that we aren't handicapped. I think she said handicapped about 6 times. The only reason she qualified was because she had a cane. There was nothing wrong with her. She was high and her pot belly was probably making her uncomfortable Oh, sorry I didn't know I had to move out of the section for lazy tweakers.
Her friend, meth man, is worse than her. His shirt is only buttoned in the very middle and he is trying to keep his head from bobbing with the movement of the bus. He is also carrying plastic bags filled with cotton balls and gatorade.
Next to them, is a woman in a pink gym outfit. When I look at what she is doing, she has a giant smile on her face because she just found a chocolate bar at the bottom of her purse. It is all melted and squished, but of course, she shoves it all in her mouth. Then about 10 seconds later, she pulls out a " Calorie, Carbs and Fat" book. Hmm.. closet binge eater?
Next to me, is a skinny punk boy who looks scared to death. I want to talk to him, but he just pulled out his phone to text. oh well.
On the other side of me is a woman reading a book. She has been completely silent the whole time but this time when I look down, I see her 2 inch long thumb nail holding the page open for her to read. Eek! Right along her cuticle is a giant bruise. Lovely. Maybe she was trying to snort some coke and her pimp beat her fingers... Probably not.. she just turned around and is a 60 year old Asian woman.
To my left is ANOTHER man with a mullet..good god..and this time he thinks he is THE MAN. It is brassy blonde and again, full of gel to keep it to perfection, and is rocking to his iPod in a flourescent button up shirt covered in marlin fish. Hotttt... At this same time, the bus comes to a stop and a girl gets up that I didn't even know was on the bus.. she is probably my age.. maybe a year younger and she is carrying a tiger stuffed animal under her arm.
What the hell are people thinking when they wake up in the morning, honestly?
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